What does your silence say?

As leaders and professionals seeking to make lasting connections, did you know that what you don’t say speaks louder than what you do say? We’ve all heard the expression “actions speak louder than words”. However, this is not what I’m referring to. I’m referring to body language.

Studies have shown that 80% of our communication in-person is non-verbal. Before we utter a single word (and communicate a mere 20% of our message), we have already spoken volumes. It’s any wonder the true intent of our message gets across to our listener! With so much riding on non-verbal cues, how can you make sure you are communicating so as to make a lasting connection? Here are four areas to consider:

1. Posture: When walking up to a contact, watch your posture. Are you standing straight, with your shoulders back? Do you hunch and look at the ground? Correct posture with shoulders back and head straight communicates self-assuredness.
2. Eye Contact: As you approach your contact, are you making direct eye contact, looking at the ground in front of you, or sizing them up with “elevator eyes”? Make eye contact and occasionally glance away so as not to stare them down as you walk toward them. Be mindful that direct eye contact may hold a different meaning in certain cultures, so do some research if necessary.
3.  Mouth Movement: Do you purse your lips, as if holding back a displeasing comment, or perhaps pucker them to one side and raise your eyebrows in an expression of disbelief? Displaying a simple smile as you approach can help soften your glance and also put your contact at ease.
4.  Handshake: Do you extend your hand first or wait to be introduced? How firmly do you grip someone’s hand? A solid handshake communicates certainty and confidence. A wilted, wimpy grasp can communicate only a cursory interest in your contact. No one likes to shake hands with a wet noodle!

Now that you are at the point to begin communicating verbally, what will you say? Will you simply state your name and title? Why not communicate the value you can add to your contact or their business? (That’s a topic for a future blog.) How you deliver your initial greeting should reinforce what you have been saying without talking.

Knowing that most of what we communicate is done non-verbally, what you say with words speaks less about who you are. Allow your body language, your “actions”, to do the talking and connect with people before you speak.

I welcome your comments and experiences in communicating without speaking.